The reports on this page are exclusively comments published with the prior authorisation of the respective authors. For reasons of privacy we simply indicate whether the author is female (w) or male (m).
It seems to be the same whenever I come to you. For a half-day to day afterwards I'm still numb, then the energy starts to flow again; at first it just flickers before steadily growing stronger until it's shining through my whole body. I have the image of a sun pulsating in my solar plexus and another smaller but no less powerful one deep in my pelvis, as well as some sort of power line flowing constantly through my forehead. I now have an idea of the possibilities to be discovered and lived out on the path of Tantra, even if my sense of perception still feels pretty coarse as far as the energy flows are concerned. (w)
I want to thank you once again for the gift you gave me. It's
only today that I have begun to realise what effects your wonderful
work has. Yesterday I was still very unsettled, feeling a bit
churned up after everything I experienced. Tired, I fell into bed
at 11pm and had a wonderful night's sleep. Today I feel freer
and more settled. I am just enjoying the peace and quiet within me,
watching as images from yesterday come into my head: your touch
and the new feelings that I had when you touched me in places
that were previously taboo. I could never have imagined
having feelings like those, and yesterday it was simply overwhelming.
At times it felt as if there was a 'second me' who snuck into our 'cave'
with us together. And today I still have the feeling that I met someone
yesterday who has been living with me for years but was never
allowed to show themselves.
The conversation with you afterwards gave me fresh inspiration. Now I am trying to feel how I want to live with myself and with others. Of course, above all this will have an effect on my ideas concerning relationships. I am not sure how I can break through existing limits, even though I was able to do this yesterday. Now I know that I have had this experience once and it will stay with me. So I am sure that it will influence my next steps.
Yesterday you told me to "live my lust and allow myself desires". I was full of desire and full of feelings that were prohibiting my lust. At times I had the feeling that I wanted to be with you 100%, but then there were these prohibitions stopping me. What a turmoil with all these contradictory "wants" and "cannots"! A wonderful experience! Thank you so much for that. (m)
Two days have now passed since my first ever tantra massage and I'm still very happy that I found the courage to take that step. In peaceful moments I can still feel the after-effects, it's very nice. It's not very easy to express how I felt. Everything was beautiful, but above all it was the feeling of security that allowed me to let myself go. I was naked but not exposed, and at times I felt as if I was floating. I felt a lot of respect, absolutely no pressure, and in some way I would say it was a healing touch.
I want to say a very big thank you! Now, two days afterwards, I can think much more clearly: I needed some time to understand what had happened to me. Your Tantra Massage Ritual was fantastic !! I'm finding it difficult to express what I felt in words, but I can definitely say I feel better and more confident than before. I know I behaved a bit like a stiff old lumberjack. But you know why. For the first time in my life I was naked with a woman that I didn't know before: that was quite a challenge for me. Not a challenge to perform, but a challenge to relax. You saw how scared I was! I really liked your work with my chakras. Your 'provocation' was something I will never forget.It was also very important: now I know that I can do much more than I thought. Maybe it didn't look like that, but it's true.
It was very nice to be able to concentrate fully on myself, since
this allowed me to be aware of nuances which I would never notice when
I'm with a partner. It was also very surprising at the beginning when
I thought I was totally emotionally relaxed, but then my body began to
sweat, with cold sweat pouring down me. The coldness in my whole body only
really disappeared near the end of the ritual. Then I became comfortably
warm and that warmth is still present. Somehow it feels different to the
way a warm body normally feels. In particular, it feels like there's a
hot spring in my womb. Let's see how long this lasts. Being
touched like that in my yoni was new for me, as were the feelings that
arose because of it. I think there is a lot more to discover in that area!
I felt lust, but there was also repeatedly a deep feeling of relaxation
and "coming home". At one point I even felt sadness for
a while. I thought it was good the way you kept spreading the energy out
through the whole body with more powerful longer strokes.
All in all you treated me with full respect and made me feel very secure. This made it feel quite 'normal' to experience this type of ritual with an unknown man for the first time. As I said on Saturday, it gave me some sort of 'sacred feeling'. Thank you again for that. (w)
I promised to get in touch by e-mail and tell you how I felt yesterday in the session. I'm still in some sort of 'shock', in a positive way. All I can do is repeat what I told you: the overriding sensation yesterday was one of 'vitality'. It felt as if you 'awakened' every centimetre of my body. And it was ready for that. Hmm, strange, maybe I can say more about that later. I'm feeling even more free after this meeting with you.I feel safe, and although I don't really understand this: I feel like a man. (m)
Nothing else I've done has enabled me to make such intensive progress
in such a short time. I really hope we can continue what we have started together ...
It may well be the case that this path remains hidden to most people. But for me
it is important to rediscover this aspect of life's meaning, purpose and path:
in short, the source of vitality, a powerful experience of lust, of being full
of life, of feeling my own vitality at last + with this to be a pulsating,
impulse-giving particle in a huge space. ...
Your observation about my relationship to power + to men was especially valuable for me since you yourself are an experienced + competent explorer of boundaries, authentically committed to his own growth as well as to offering me a protected + objective space to do this myself. (w)
Thank you for the wonderful experience this afternoon. Every time I come to you it is new and intensive for me, but I have full confidence and trust in you. This trust allows me to let go so completely enabling a new experience of my lust. This happens in a way that never breaches the limits I have set whilst still expanding my horizon a little more each time. And when I think about it, the limits are not really there, since everything is so natural and I can fully be myself. Nothing is embarassing, nothing has artifical barriers, and thoughts and feelings can blossom once again. I am I, and I am met with respect. There were intensive feelings of tension and relaxing, concentrated lust, and depth. This has a wonderful effect on my self-awareness and my partner's too: she also profits from this! It has enriched our lives. (m)
There were mixed feelings. On the one hand, there was a deeper longing to accept my lust and desire, but on the other there was a deeply rooted irrational feeling of irritation that this man was touching me like that. But this in turn gave way to a strong awareness that he was only doing it for me and my lust. It seems I still need more inner permission. (m)
I have to tell you that I've never experienced anything like that before. It was unique and almost unbelievable: I'd never believe it if I hadn't experienced it for myself. And I have to admit that beforehand I didn't really believe it was possible to have a massage like that, or sex without intercourse. Now I know better! I really had the feeling that it was all for me, that you had no self-interest at all. I felt very safe and protected and that was also something that was confusing at first. I mean, I've never had contact as intimate as that with someone I'd first seen less than an hour before. But there was a wonderful feeling of familiarity and I felt accepted and respected. Yes, if I'm honest, it topped everything until now, perhaps BECAUSE there was no intercourse. I'm not sure, but I think that might not be important. It was wonderful and I'm doing well. (w)
First of all I just have to say a big thank you once again.
It is difficult to describe, but the "afterglow" is simply
unbelievably beautiful. There is still a feeling within me as if I've
fallen in love. Loads of energy, a sense of well-being and a pretty
active libido. I can't explain it but the physical intimacy with my boyfriend
was different afterwards. Much more intensive. I couldn't and can't
get enough bodily contact and every touch goes right through me.
During the massage I also felt a lot of lust and I was able to take this
home with me. Thank you so much!
Especially on the first evening, it was unbelievable how every sort of intimacy and closeness felt. This is pretty overwhelming for me, since I generally have a real problem accepting closeness. This is certainly because of my uncle sexually abusing me when I was a child. Taking him to court and going through the court process did change many things, but it didn't improve my ability to accept physical intimacy as something positive. (w)